14 Dec WARNING: Eating healthy makes you healthier!
Recently the Australian Sports Anti-doping Authority (ASADA) rated maca-root powder a Category D substance, banned for use by athletes.
Maca powder is incredibly nutrient dense, containing all your essential amino acids plus a dose of B-vitamins, vitamins C and E, iron, potassium, calcium, magnesium and zinc. It increases energy, boosts libido and improves memory and mental functions, making it too healthy for professional sport.
We talked to a spokesperson from ASADA who told us that next on the chopping block is exercise and a balanced diet, as any positive boost to the human body is an unfair advantage.
“The future of fair sporting is important to us”, said the spokesperson, “by stopping athletes from taking care of their bodies, we will ensure that no one has the upper hand. We all know that water and sleep is good for your physical health, so we will aim to restrict those too.”
Athletes of the future will be banned from training and instead will be required to sit on couches until they are called upon to compete.
The above piece is 100% satire. We love maca powder and want to point out how good it is for you! Unfortunately some people disagree. If you are a professional athlete, please note that maca powder is now a category D substance and is used in 4 of our smoothies: The Fresh Prince, The Raw Energy, Brekky on the Fly and The Aztec.